Jessica Fae (jessica_fae) wrote,
Jessica Fae

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It's been a while.

It has been a long while since I actually made a real entry into my journal. The last real entry I made was on the 20th of June, before that it was almost 2 weeks because I was on vacation. Visiting family and what not. Since I've been in San Angelo my life has taken one turn for the better, I got a cable modem finally. However much is still the same. I'm living in a hotel room, as is the custom when one is TDY. Of course now I will not be starting my class on schedule. Why? Because I have bad credit and the military decided that they can not give me access to classified information again until certain paperwork is done. Well, all that paperwork is done. I sent it up along with a detailed report of how I really don't have shitty credit anymore. (Read I've paid off all the bad stuff.) I was assured that it shouldn't be a problem but that I would have to wait for them to get back to me. This was the day I was supposed to start class. My class has taken their first test now. The first test is the part that I could easily catch up on as it's all stuff I know, but now, there is no hope. I will be waiting for the next class which starts near the end of this month. I will probably end up on casual as of tomorrow, but that's not what sucks. What sucks is that I can't start class. I have to spend an extra month in training. I am so anxious to get out of training and get to my new duty station and start a new life. One with good credit, an apartment. Hopefully I'll make some good friends in GA like I did in San Antonio. I'm sure I will, that's the biggest advantage of the military. Most importantly, I'll be on the east coast, in a state that is actually nice, not horrible. I'll have trees again. :) I'll have snow in the winter. I'll have rain. I'll have friendlier people. It'll be nice. I'll be happy. I don't know if I can remember what that feels like. I mean, I've only been just moderately ok for the last... gods I don't even know how long.

I've got a good start though. I have my bills straightened out, and hell, if I try really hard by this time next year I won't even owe money on my car. Maybe I'll actually have credit good enough to get a credit card. Who knows. Of course, I don't really want one. I just want to be able to get one for emergencies. For when stupid people say, "You have to have a credit card." No matter how much that isn't true, sometimes it's easier to just have one that to argue. Perhaps after I get to GA I'll apply for a secured Visa. That would help me rebuild my credit.

This is all well and good, but I want my motivation back most of all. Getting a real life will help with that. I have big plans for my future, and hopefully they will work out. I'm planning on starting my own business in my spare time, and if all goes well I'll have it up and running well enough that if I decide I don't want to be in the Air Force anymore when this enlistment runs out then I'll still have a good source of income. I'm not holding my breath though, but you never know. I miss writing too. I've tried repeatedly the last... 6 months probably to write. All I get is a blank page. I did, however, find a good distraction that is helping a little. I just have to get in the mood to finish the first project on it. Never winter Nights. A wonderfully created game. I am writing C again with it, and that makes me happy. I still remember how to make a good code so all hope is not lost. Speaking of code, my website. I've so neglected it. I have to work on my web projects, and that's another reason I want my motivation back. So I can get that up and running the way I want it. So I can be happy with stuff in my life. Motivation is good. Motivation is the key to a lot of things.

Oh well, this is a long entry now so I'm going to cut it short. I'll be nice and go put a cut tag in so that those of you who don't want to read my ramblings don't have to.

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